Samaritans shares with us thoughts on listening well to support others who are struggling.

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‘Effective listening and dialogue skills empower people to spot the signs that someone may not be okay and then take appropriate steps to help. Since the first call to Samaritans on 2 November 1953, we’ve been training volunteers to provide emotional support.

‘For nearly 15 years, we’ve worked in partnership with Network Rail to prevent suicide on the railway. We’ve trained over 37,000 rail workers, helping them spot signs that someone might be in distress and how to intervene, by developing their listening and dialogue skills. The training also helps them identify if they or a colleague may be affected by something they’ve witnessed, and how to give or get support.’

Helping others

‘Listening, not just hearing, is important. Sometimes people find it hard to know what to say to someone struggling. “Are you okay?” is one way to start that difficult conversation. Use an open question to ask about what they’ve shared. Focus on how they feel at that moment, not practicalities.

‘Sometimes people who are struggling close a conversation with “I’m fine,” but you can see that they’re not. Asking twice encourages the person to share what’s wrong.

‘We hear that sometimes people worry they might come across as nosy or might make the situation worse. This fear is natural when dealing with difficult and anxious conversations. However, we know being listened to by someone showing care and support really helps.

‘Sometimes the person you wish to support by listening isn’t ready to speak. Just because they don’t feel able to speak now doesn’t mean they won’t speak later. Signal that you are always free to listen. Knowing they have someone to turn to will be a considerable comfort.

‘Give short words of encouragement, but don’t try to put yourself in their position. Phrases such as “I know how you feel,” or “That must be terrible,” aren’t helpful. They put your own views or emotions on the situation, and you can’t know how they feel.

‘Be honest. Try not to fix or solve their problems or pain. Being honest often acknowledges that you don’t have the solutions, but you’re there to listen and support them.’

Listening training

‘We teach dialogue and listening skills based on the Samaritans volunteer training model. This emphasises listening, asking open questions, and being empathic.

‘From April 2023 to March 2024, there were nearly 2,000 life-saving interventions on the rail network. Each life was saved by someone stopping and talking to them. Without rail staff doing the training and looking out for struggling people, these lives would not have been saved.’

If you work in rail and are interested in Samaritans’ listening training, contact railcompaniestraining@samaritans.org.

Samaritans is available 24/7. Call free on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.